Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Difference In Me .


" wanna show the world but nobody knows my name yet and I
wonder when and how I'm gonna make it and I know I can even if my
face is in the door when it keeps slamming . I'll make it one step at a time " .

The Update .

It's been so long since I've written something because I've been so busy with school and cheerleading that I haven't been able to write as much as I would like too but I'm here now to give you the update on everything . Remember that boy Brandon that was supposively a " good one " and my boyfriend ? Well we broke up because of his immaturity but that's life and I'm okay with it . My coach named me captain of my cheer team after three years of working my butt off for the title and I've actually gotten closer with my team . Remember Anthony Cunningham , that boy that I always had the biggest crush on , well we are actually closer then we've ever been . My mother has been the greatest inspiration ever and is soo proud of me from all my accomplishments lately , that in itself is the most amazing feeling.

With senior year coming up , my life is actually exactly where I want it to be right now and it feels so amazing to have everything that I've worked so hard for finally being handed to me . Things are looking up right now . My life is at it's peak moment and I see a great year coming up .

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Fainted Apperance .

I miss something that I never had in the first place . Honestly I think I miss what everyone's definition of a father is . I never had one and sometimes running into his arms , actually having that male figure in my life is what I need at the time but being seventeen years old , it feels like its too late . I wanna feel loved by him and I don't , never had that connection between us because while I was tryna build that relationship , he was trying to break it down . He didn' want that for us , he doesn't appericate his one and only daughter . Listening to other father stories from friends of mine sometimes hurt , never would I be able to say something like that and to think about my wedding in the future kills me . The roll of your father walking you down the aile is a symbol of him guiding you all your life to that point and handing you off to be a woman , his first time not being the only man in your life but does it even matter cause mine was never there for school activities, cheerleading games, graduations, bike rides, or anything that I got myself into. So someone please tell me why I would invite this fake ass father that I love and hate so much at the same time to my highschool graduation or wedding . It wasn't like he helped with anything at all, doesn't even remember my birthday or better yet can't spell my name . To be honest I miss something that I never had in the first place cause even when it was right infront of my face and he was standing directly next to me . . . it felt like he was a million miles away .

The Difference .

" I just can't worry about the future
for us, when I cherish the moments
that we spend together now " .

Friday, August 7, 2009

Nicki Minaj : The Baddest .

Baddest in the game right now and
killing off every female and most of the male
rappers right about now. My favorite rapper
no doubt about that one .

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Concrete Feelings .

The amout of people we have in our lives are countless but throughout our time we are unable to keep those people and the relationships do fail at times and are not able to be renewed . I believe people are in our lives for a reason and that they are lessons even when we don't notice it . They teach us how to or not to act, lep us learn about ourselves, how friendships should be and even expose us to how we like to feel . So when I lose a friend I don't consider it a lost, I consider it a gain because our friendship or relationship may have ran its course but the things that I got out of it and the things that the person may have taught me or shown me is definitly permant.
Discovered that the quote "the bigger your heart is. the easier it is to break" bothers me because my heart is pretty huge and has yet to be broken. I feel it doesn't matter the size heart you have, everyone is eligable to be hurt . It doesn't apply to a specific group of people .

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Surrrppprrisssseee :]]


Operation Surprise Birthday Party : Success !

Spent the last two days stressing about how I was gonna pull off my Mommy's 44th Surprise Birthday Party but I did it and she was completely shocked . Thanks to my godsister , my little sister , my cousin and my aunt and all our family and friends that came tonight , it was a HUGE success . I'm so happy because my mother was really appericative , she enjoyed herself alot and she deserved all the time , effort , money and love put into it . She's the best and i'm glad that she had a good birthday like I was praying it would be .

I'm very happy to say I threw my mom her first birthday party .

but even happier to sayy . . . .


Happy Birthday To The Best Mother Ever !

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Before and After .

I look back on the events and the stages that have helped me grown throughout my life . The ways I used to act, the things I used to do, people I used to surround myself with and the feelings that I used to wanna feel . How I used to long for certain things that were so unnessacary , now that I look back on it . How I've gotten hurt by the desire for the things that never had any type of desire for me or better yet how I lusted for moments and when they were finally handed to me , it was no where what I imagined . Phases that I used to go through to get to the point where I'm at now . How I was a push over , used to be the girl that everyone took my kindness of weakness . The bridge from one side to another , where people just abused, never appericated but continued to walk over as if I or as I should say I didnt matter . How I deprived myself of self esteem because my hair wasn't as long as it used to be or I wasn't as light or pretty as the others , like it mattered one bit because my personality was greater then anyone's looks but yet I was blinded by the obvious and couldn't see the things that aren't shown if you don't look .

But now , I march to my own beat and I don't hang out at certain places or do certain things because everyone is doing it or if I shall it's my decision and wasn't influenced by anyother . How I surrond myself with postive friends and great inspirations that not only push me in the right direction but listen in the time of need to be heard . I do not lay down as that bridge now but I am the rope that keeps it up and can easily untie it's self when felt unappericated and then no one can get across unless I am willing to tie myself again . How I don't worry about another's beautiful eyes or gorgeous smile but can see the ugliest out of the most beautifulest people and most importantly how I am able to not long for certain things that will not long for me . I am able to pick and choose my battles , learn that certain things will not be the way i've imagined and I am able to except that even if the pain is forever .

I look back on the phases of my life and what it used to be and I'm able to laugh and enjoy what I've become now , even in my constant stage of growth and think to myself I never ever wanna be that girl that I once was but I thank her because she made me what I am now .

Pause The Earth . . For A Split Second .


The hype is too much . I need to be in a place where I'm anonymous . I can blend in into the crowd without having to stand out , be apart of the normal life without comments of doubt . The life I live and the people I face would be simple and that's okay for me . Attention is not all what it's hyped up to be , so I allow myself to stand in the back of the room and wait for my turn . I listen more then I speak so that sometimes I won't be heard because words do get twisted into something you might or might have not said . I'd rather not take that chance . I don't want a re-do and I don't want to start over but sometimes when I think about the place and the people that surround me and everyone's flaws. A place , my secret place sounds really good . A place that I run to when I feel like a break is well needed or some peace of mind that can be provided . I lay down and sometimes I wish that someone would just for a split second . . . . take me away .

Saturday, August 1, 2009

And The Reality Of It Is . . .

The world is a cruel place filled with rude and inconsiderate people . The type of people that fail to realize that other people have feelings too but they are quick to hurt yours but don't want theirs hurt in the process . It's a mean world out there , a place that's way bigger then me with less heart then me and not as much humbleness as me . It would be so simple if the world and the people in it focused on themselves instead of trying to tear someone else down . I'm so grateful that I'm strong enough to be bruised but never broken . I thank my mother for that trait .

Goodmorning August (:


I must admit . . . .
I'm kind of glad that your here .

Leave It At Maybe .

Seems like everytime I talk about someone that I have feelings
for on my blogspot , it never workss . So this time I won't say any
names or anything like that but I think I found something that's
worth holding on too , so cross your fingers this works out but of
course if anything interesting happens it will be posted .

So MAYBE this could be the start of something new for us .
but we won't ruin it . . . . . . . we'll just keep it as just maybe .

Narrow Road .

The path that I walks doesn't look so narrow anymore and certain things don't have the effect that it used to on me . Not in crazy competition with my past like I used to be, worrying about things that I can control is what I will NOT do anymore . Life has new things instore every second of every hour in every day and dwelling on the past with not lead me foward . Memories can not be memories if I'm always trying to relive the moment . The path I walk isn't so narrow anymore , actually it looks pretty bright . Can't wait to see all the things that will catch my eye in the future .

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Senior Year .


On The Way To A Good Yeaar .
went to cheer camp and won best dancer for the third year ina row
and even won the spirit stick ... great way to start my senior year .

Like Toy Soldiers.



"I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure. Even though I hope the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. I am never supposed to show it, my crew aint supposed to know it. Even if it means going toe to toe with a Benzino it dont matter. I'd never drag them in battles that I can't handle unless I absolutely have to, I'm supposed to set an example. I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide em`. If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside em`". - Eminiem


some powerful words in that song and honestly I forgot how beautiful
that song was. by far the best one that he ever released to me .

Beauty Beyond It's Obvious.

It's like the feeling behind a song that you play on repeat because of the words or maybe the melody is more beautiful that you've ever heard , or the excitment and thrill after you've played your championship game and you finally experienced the feeling of victory. Beauty comes in so many shapes and forms rather its obvious state, its behind all the great things that make us feel the way we do or passionate behind something that we love. Its an adjective but can be used as an expession and much more of a feeling then looks .

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Enlighten Your Soul .

The world would be such a better place if everyone worried about only bettering THEMSELVES instead of worrying about the next person and what they are doing to change this world and we as a people become better . If people for once worried about the way that they acted and not how the person next to them protreys themselve, if people for once worried about what they can do to make this world a better place but not being prejudice or talking about her or him and just focused on what they can do to bring peace to this world then the world would become a greater place, we would finally be able to become one . We as a people allow ourselves to judge eachother, put down eachother, not care for one another like we care for our own and it divides the world in to divisions . If we just stopped and looked at the world at a different angle, we would see that the world could be as amazing as you want it to be but all we have to do is worry about making that change within ourselves.


If only we looked at the world from a different prespective ..

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Outsider ; Looking In .

"I should be crying but I just can't let it show. I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking ... All the things I should've said that I never said . All the things we should've done but we never did. Oh darling .. Make it go away . Just make it go away" - Maxwell .

It's been a tiring battle over the last year and I'm tired of fighting the war with my heart . It's amazing how a person could change your life completely . A few months ago if you asked me if I was happy or if I missed him . . I would have told you yess I'm happy and hell no I dont miss him with no hesitation but now that I seen what my happiness truly looks like my whole prespective has changed . Now I'm wanting, hoping, wishing but then its like that has always been my role sadly . I've always had to wait for what I truly wanted, especially now for something that I had .

I had a conversation with my sister today and she told me " If its meant to be then it will happen " but what if your tired of waiting . What if for once you just want it right then and there ? Guess that would defeat the whole purpose and apperication of it right ? But if you had something so special that you just can't seem to let go then why would you let it go ? There are so many questions , unanswered questions with my heart that I want to know but it seems like the answers that I'm seeking long with patience .. the patience that I was hoping that I wouldn't have to deal with but realized that I will need to get past these emotions and this battle within my heart .

So cnce again ... I'm the outsider looking in :(

The Impact .1958-2009 .

The Impact He Has Made ...
has touched people all over the world .

Michael Jackson ...
you will forever live in the hearts and the ears of people
all over the world . there was no one before you that did
what you have done and there will be no one after you that
will do what has been did .

"maybe now ... they will finally leave you alone".
- Marlon Jackson

Sunday, July 5, 2009

My Recent Discovery .

I never stopped loving you ...

Traveled To See This .

Congratss To My Sister :)
she married the love of her life ..

Hypothetically, Ofcourse .

What if I told you,
that I had a confession .
I was in love with you,
the twelve months that when we were arguing .
You got a girlfriend
and she ended up pregnant
but you dont even know fahsure
if you baby's yours ....

What if I told you
we were meant to be together .
Future arrangements of happiness
and make it through all kinds of weather.

Is it cool for me to want all that back?
Is it cool for me to try to rekiddle our tracks
from the only man that I loved ?

or is it just too anomyous to keep it on the low ?



Thursday, July 2, 2009

Purify Me .

because my words are my thoughts that should not
be heard to the public, for some of my feelings should
not be kept inside, for my mind is a powerful thing .

Purify Me .

Therefore I have room to grow and emotions to explore,
for my knowledge shall educate minds that need to learn
lessons unlearned, for reminders of intelligence .

Purify Me .

for I have done some things that Irefuse to regret,
for I have made some mistake in my time, for I will make
plenty more in the future inorder to grow strong .

Purify Me .
for I am human...

Photoshoot With Janay Ben-Simon .





In need of photoshoots or wanna see mre pictures ?
http://indifferent-being.blogspot.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dcpphotos
http://www.myspace.com/soccer_baller23

Wondering Minds .

"The truth is everyone is going to hurt you . You
just have to decide whats worth the pain " .

I think if people learned to actually understand that statement
then hurt would be viewed in a different way . Pain is pain and
hurt is hurt . . . thats a part of life but if you can seperate the pain
and hurt that is nessacary from what can actually make you alot
stronger it wouldnt seem to bad right ?

Or How About This . . .

Everyone has or will get that FIRST love that is sometimes not

worth losing and sometimes relationship end that were never
intended on ending . Do you let it go for something else that could
possibly be better in the future or take whats yours at that very
moment or do you just leave it alone all together ? think about it .

Let Me Know What You Would Do ...

Missed Me ?

You DEFINITLY need the update on the events that
have been going on in my life . For starters I am currently
in the land that birth me , New York . Tigger [ remember ,
my first love of almost two years ] is back in my lifee , I've
become a senior as of June 18th and officially became 17
yrs young as of June 20th .



As of now I would like to say ...
Hello Summer 0h`nine .
Seems like my happiness couldnt possibly get any better
but then it always does especially since I'm back home . Boy
haave I missed new york and its still the same except minor
setbacks from when I grew up . Lately, my heart has been so
greatly especially after the talk with Tigger until the sun came
up , we established that we are Bestfriends for life ...

Summer oh nine will be beautiful and this is where life gets
to its PEAK for me . be prepared .. this young female is on persue .

Friday, May 29, 2009

It's Been Soo Long :/

haven't been on blogspot for a cool little minute because I don't
have internet at my house and my sidekick smetimes refuse to
let me blogg but I will soon be baack on kaaay ?


HMU on aim if you need me for the moment .
xPrettyEnvyedx

Monday, May 4, 2009

Bring My Down To Earth .

Introduce me to a world that I've never experienced .
I've always been the type of girl that spends most of her
free time day dreaming . I want that good life && it does
not have to be fame but constant happiness . I wanna see
things in life so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes .
A person's imagination is a wonderful thing && I seem to
use mine alot . Its one of the things that keeps me sane in
this world of disbelief .

Hip Hop Is Dead`.


Let me first start off by saying this man right here on the right of this blog gave me nightmares of like two weeks . "6 6 6 Murder Murder Jesus" - Jay Z . The song everyone loves called "Lucifer" , yeah do you remember that song ? ... ever listened to thatt song backwards in reverse ? JayZ feels that he is the higher power , also now as God himself . J-Hova ; Jehovah . Sound familar ? yeah don't believe me then go to youtube && hear the subliminal message of "Lucifer" which is the devils nme but anyways ..

All these people that think they are soooo called "HipHop" is just killing it . I mean come on now , Soulija Boy is considered HipHop ? If thats so then hiphop is really dead. Don't get me wrong there is some good music that I love to listen to but I used to be a hiphop gurl but now I think R&B has more of a meaning these days . Can't stand the songs that play on the radio . Hopefully this new generation coming up can give us something to really listen to otherwise I'm sticking to the oldies , they played that love mking shit back then ha!

CHS Cheer Beast Of The Week .

Loanthy Cu : )

Amazingly got her backspring && learned how to
lock out her arms . With her gorgeous && bubbly
personality, she's improving alot && is making all her
teamates very very proud . Keep it upp Looo` !

Sunday, May 3, 2009

One Sweet Day .

&& People say I got a gift that
that could tear someone apart .
Meaning not in a horrible waay ,
more like it could melt your heart .
Because when I sit down && write ,
you can feel apart of my soul .
Weither i'm writing about the dumbest
stuff , or smething pure goldd `.

Its like my way of life &&
definitly like state of mind .
Cause if my heart is in it I can
write it in the shortest time .
Give me some brief minutes &&
i'll write something soo deep .
you will feel it from the tip of your
fingers, to the souls of your feet .

I'm pretty sure it might not even
be about me . I can write something
just by watching smething on T.V.
I'll put it to you in ways that you
would hve never ever heardd . I could
even tell you one gorgeous story . in
just a few lines && words .

Lately you've been become my all ,
inspiration, everything && my hope .
Seems like your more weed because
your whole everything is doope .
&& throw it all , i've been holding back
whut hasn't been spoke soo ..
One day I'll write a poem about you
&& it'll be the best one I ever wrote .

- Written by Myself .
Don't steal my shitttt!

It's Always The Brokest Niggas ,

That have the nerve to say "Money Ova Bitches" .
SMH , posers man are tking over the world so fast .



&& its such a sad, sad thing .

Has Anyone Else Seen This ?

Now, you know things are getting
outta control when the white house
has a 'Myspace' . Like wtf ? The
president of the United States has a
myspace. Whats the wrld cming
too ? Don't believe me then check
it out for yourself. ya'll be surprised
www.myspace.com/whitehouse



- - - - Now Everyone Does Have A Myspace - - - -
SMFH ! .

Saturday, May 2, 2009

&& Friends Like This ..








Are Definitly Hard To Find .

iloveyou : ) May 2, 2009 .

Had an amazing day with JayCa[$]h . . . Went to the
homie Justin's Surprise BBQ : ) Mission accomplished
by the wayy ! We played football where the girls aka ;
`Team Perfection dominated , lol . Me && JayCa[$]h
murdered thatt came .. Can not be stopped . We hadd
alot of fun today btw : HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN !

Then we went to church && the theme was Mexican
so these fools got me in a huge hat with a bot tie && a
damn apron on , wtf ? lol . We ate a bunch of mexican
food && played Bingo which I did not win "/ .

Ohh ... did I forgot to mention that Jono came over this
morning , BFFAE so its always great seeing my bestfriend
&& Anthony came by just to bring me sme Reese's that he
bought for me because I was feening . I love all my friends
&& the people I surrond myself with . I swear , they make
life look so much brighter . This saturday was definitly well
spent .
ANNOUNCEMENT !

This Friday : May 8, 2009 . JayCa[$]h && I vs . Bankhead &&
Anthony ina game on FOOTBALL ! Hella excited , its gonna be
so much fun . These boys better prepare for a major ass whoopin`
ofcourse I'll let everyone know what happened && all the details.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Originality ..

Where Has Everyone's Orginality Gone ?


Seems like everyone wnna be label under on sme name on one another . Like ... whts the whole point . Too many "bad bitches, YG's" and everything else that I can think of . Can no one by themselves anymore ? Its pretty sad looking on my buddylist now a days because everyone got the same things on it .. SMH . && let's no even get on myspace .. don't even wanna logg on anymore , its just wrong . _ && now I'm no one to complain `about other peoples shit` but its just pathetic . I march my own beat && hve never followed the "in crowd" . I mke trends, not follow them .


Immaturity seems like a big issue for me lately . The games that some play is soo childish , grow up .. It's time to be a big kid now . It's mainly in school is where I see it the most && thats probably because I'm around these people five days a week for five hours . Getting soo old` but at the end of the day Ima do me regardless , it would just be nice to see more then a handful of people with the same mind as me ... but then any again there will always be one me but it would be nice to see someone close to it .


I'm Nani` from "NO" click && I run my "OWN" shit .

Google.com , Like Seriously ?

WTF ?

Google has the most intreseting things I've ever seen ...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Day 26 New Album "Forever In A Day" .


... Album In Stores Now ...
mke sure you go copp.` its hella bomb .
# 55 , Ant`[Cunningham] .
hold on , let me smile for a second ..

.
.
.
.

: )


Omgee , boy means the world to me . Been through many
ups && downs its ridculious but he refuses to go anywhere
because we love eachother waay too much . I think i've felt
almost every emotion with this kid except the feeling of just
giving up .. Got a bond that is unbreakable && it seems like
nothing , no one or even ourselves can do `anything to make
us push away from eachother . He's my true happiness &&
thats that no if's &&'s or but's about it .

Dancing With Stars : Notarious K.I.M`



















- Work` It Out Lil` Kim : )

Dear Summer Ohnine,

don't mean to rush you but your cming alittle slow . I've been looking
foward to you all year && your just tking your sweet time ... "I DON'T
APPERICATE IT" ! . you seem like your gonna be bring me lots of joy
&& future experiences . My Birthday is cming up around your time , I'm
dying my hair , I'm gonna be sme new piercings && most importantly
I'm going back hme to New York ...





&& its gonna be my senior year too ? ohhmann . it will definitly be pawh`pin
when you come around trustt me I'll be veryy veryy grateful && won't tke
advantage of you . I promise to not get "too" turnt up or do
any thing that I'll regret . I'll make the most memories && I'll always think of
you as the greatest time of yeaar ..




sooo please ,
HURRRY YOUR ASS UP ! : )


Yours Truly ,
- Nani .

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Cause If Love Was A Painting ...

If love was a painting then it would probably be
the biggest painting in the world . There is all types
of love in the world so just thaat alone would give it
that extra shine && sparkle that other paintings lack .

Seems like everywhere you turn love is all around &&
its one of the most beautiful things to be exposed` too .
The happiness on one's face when they look at there
significant other && you can actually see the enjoyment
of that ones company is a gorgeous sight .

If love was a painting , I'd see a lot of familiar faces in
there && ones that I've never seen before because deep
down everyone has sme kind of love inside them . If love
was a painting , it would cme in every shape , size &&
form && be the most beautifulest painting ever created .

Monday, April 27, 2009

Cheer Banquet .




"As we go on we remember all the times we


had together && as our lifes change for whteva


we will stay be , Friends Forever" .

CCFL .



Sunday, April 26, 2009

Acception .

"the hurt" .

"the pain" .

"the problems" .

....


is [Love]` really worth it ?


Met this one guy that really opened my mind && made me actually
hve to think about it . One of the only people that can look past all my
lies && bullshit && see there is truly smething wrong with me deep in
side , the one that mkes me soo happy but yet brings me back to my
past to mke me heal in order to move on ..



Used to think I moved on but honestly its only been recently
that I have actually started to let go of that last love that hurt
me the most . the anger, the pain, the frustration was all just
built up inside me && it took one guy to make me see that . to
this day I can actually admit that I'm finally starting to move on
&& let go so that I can experience true happiness && love, sme
thing that I thought I could do before when I was in denial . I
think I'm a big make in progress && the most important person
that I was fooling was myself .. SMH && I did a damn good job



Soooo ......
this time is different . I'm finally learning how to let
go , stop making excuses , stop trying to foul everyone
but its not being true to myself . It took a whole year for
me to see that I was deeply hurt && that its time to let
go . can't keep blaming the past because eventually
it will come to bite me in the ass . I admitted now its time
for CHANGE . && the time is now for it . its a weight
lifted off my shoulders . I'm moving on for the first time
in 385 days && daaaammmnn , it feels goooo00ooood :)

Metro .


WTF ? you see the weirdest shit on the bus .
didn't bother to ask wht the purpose of this kids
deadside cause I was too busy snapping pictures .

^^^^^^^^^^^^
SMH , proof the wrld is full of dead people .
they are all just disguised in human form .

Best In The Game ...
now stick that in your juice box && suck it.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Finally seeing that life isn't full of enemies .
There's good people in my life && not every
one is trying to hurt me . Time to let go of all
the pain && its my time to spread my wings .
Cause i've realized a book is never just whut
it looks like or seems . Free to enjoy life &&
not be scared , for that one will come along to
show that he cares . Unshield my heart fullied
with walls that i've grew . Someone who won't
give up on me . Tell me, is that you ?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Hope ..


"Seems Like If We Have Hope , Life Doesn't Seem So Hard".
; heard a young girl that was about fourteen years old tell her
mother that today && it really effected me because for once in
my lifetime the word "Hope" was viewed in a different perspective
in my eyes .

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Patiently Waiting .

Life is amazingly ROUGH !


pain feels up my heart when I see the strongest
person iknw cry ... (my mother) . I never want to
have to struggle in this lifetime . I don't want it to be
any harder then it has to be . School is first prority to
me && dancing is next in line .


iknow i'm gonna be successful in my dreams
.
its just a matter of time for me .


if i'm not doing it for myself atleast I can do is not be
selfish because I definitly owe it to the moms .Tired of walking
down the street seeing bums on the street . This world is fcked up
as it is , excuse my french but its true . Too many worried about
the
material things && not enough worrying about things that
matter .
Don't wanna rush my childhood but i'm so ready to make
a difference in this world or atleast domy part . I wanna be the
person you hear about in school when it comes to Black History or
history in general . but like I said ....


I will be successful , its just a matter of time for me .
Every sunday afternoon the same thoughts run threw

my heart. "Damn gotta go back to school in the
morning with the same immature little doodoo's
that iface from 7:45 - 2:32 monday through fri".




Its coming down to the wire . only two more
months before senior year but ithink the hardest part for
me is to face that my older sister is graduating this year .
My rock, my ace, my strength && my all is getting ready
to face for real world along with all the others that i've
basically grew up with since middle school days . seven
years strong , going from being the baby of the bunch to
becoming one of the oldest .


... " I'm Gonna Miss Her " ...

; my senior year will be the first time i'll be without her && ofcourse
its pretty scary but ithink i'll manage . but iknw for a fact when it comes
to her graduation . even though we will still see eachother after schoool
&& what not .... I'm gnna cry . Got two months to prepare for her leaving .
Two more months to have the best times , two more months to spend with
the people i've been down with yeasr back , two more months until i'll be
experiencing the first time school without my sister <3

Happiness ...



; I can not predict the future . I also can not change
my past . I can only take the present moment , && live
like its my last .


Lately things have been on an up && up for me . Couldn't ask
for anything to be change or better yet done any differently .
Sometimes I catch myself thinking about things that I can not
change though . I've realized that I can't keep worrying about
something that can no longer be changed . Taking life the exact
way it gets thrown at me cause it's mine . My happiness is free .


especially because it all comes from me .